Marriages under Attack-My Testimony

I am sharing this real -life testimony in order to show how the devil is real and is working overtime to destroy the marriage institution. It is also a sign that we need more of God in our lives. We need to seek him first and his Kingdom otherwise we are doomed to failure. Do not be fooled, there is no way the devil wants you to be happy. He is against everything right about God’s system.

If we refer back to the very beginning in Genesis 2 vs. 18, “Now the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper meet ( suitable, adapted, complimentary) for him”, this shows us that marriages were designed from the beginning of human life. They were meant to provide companionship and completeness. In Genesis 2 vs. 24, it says “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall become united and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” I’m quoting from the Amplified Bible.

If God had wanted man to be single, separated or divorced, why would he make that statement in Genesis 2 vs. 18? It is therefore not God’s plan for man to be single, separated or divorced and this is the area that the devil uses to trick people. He comes and tells us to taste the forbidden fruit, with promises of happiness, wisdom and knowledge. He sows the seed of doubt about the effectiveness of God’s system and provides the possibility that we could have something better.

I was married for 8 years before the devil struck my marriage. In those 8 years, we were really happy and doing quite well for a young couple. The Lord blessed us with four children, a house, two cars and holidays etc. We were actually the envy of our extended families and peers. It also happened that at that time neither I nor my husband was fully committed to God. I was a Christian but a lukewarm type. My husband’s role went as far as dropping us off at the Church gate and picking us up after the service.

We did not know how spiritual attacks worked and were not mature enough to know how we could fight or protect ourselves. The signs were there for all to see that a spiritual attack on our marriage had begun but as I said neither of us was mature enough in that area to know what to do. It started off with my husband getting into wrong company, drinking excessively and having illicit affairs. I got to know about each of these affairs as if God was revealing them to me but I was too weak to protect myself. This graduated to episodes of abuse toward me and I was confused but I did not seek help. For the next 5 years, this went on and off and I pretended all was well as if to wish it all away. I would cry until my eyes were sore but I did not know how this would end. As time went by, the frequency and intensity of abuse increased and I began to seek means and ways to cushion myself from being hurt. I still did not tell anyone what I was going through as I think I was in total confusion as to how what I thought was a perfect marriage had suddenly turned sour. I did not understand how at one time we were the best of friends but now were fast becoming enemies.

I began reading books and magazines in the hope of finding solace and ideas. The internet was a new thing at that time and I began to use it as an escape avenue. One book I read stated that most women are divorced or separated by the age of 35. I believed this statement as at that time I was about 33. I also began to seek comfort and joy outside of my home and in the process made male friendships. To me this was the only way I could satisfy my need for love and companionship as the gap between me and my husband continued to widen. It’s surprising how we moved from a communicating couple to a situation where we could barely hold a conversation without it degenerating into a war of words. So, I found out I could talk to other men outside my marriage and that to me was a way out, while still keeping my marriage.

Unbeknown to me, the devil had another arsenal up his sleeve. In the 2 years that followed, life became totally unbearable and the abuse turned to threats on my life .By then I had read about domestic violence and abuse somewhere and was now fully aware of what was happening to me and what psychological effects it was having on me. I was also oblivious to the fact that I was also contributing to it by my reactions and actions. Things came to a head one day when my husband physically assaulted me and I decided enough was enough. I told myself, I deserved better and was going to find a better life out there. However, the biggest mistake I now realise was that through all this, I never consulted God; I did not seek him or seek biblical counselling. Instead, I used my own human judgement of what I could see and understand at my level.

I went to work the following day and did not return home. I had decided to leave my husband, children, house, property, cars, everything! To cut a long story short, for the next couple of years I was separated from my husband. I did manage to get custody of all my four children but had to start afresh in all other areas. I did not realise that God had a plan for me and was not going to allow the devil to destroy me. In that time while I was separated from my husband, someone introduced me to a Bible believing, Spirit-filled church. The moment I started attending that church and re-committed my life to the Lord, life became easier and bearable. I received support and counselling from ladies who attended the same church and one of them prophesied that the door was not shut on my marriage and I should seek God about it.

At the end of the two years, I had become more spiritual, committed to God and very prayerful. I however, still had some seeds that the devil had planted during the period of strife in my marriage. I could not stop the friendships I had developed with men outside of my marriage. When I tried to pray about this, the devil would intercept my prayers and make it look like it was okay, I deserved to have company. After all God wanted me to be happy. On the other hand my husband had also become entrenched in the illicit affairs that he was having, especially now that I was out of the way. It is now clear that even then, neither of us was happy or satisfied, even though we each wanted to believe we were.

It so happened quickly that there was a shift in the battlefield for our marriage that, as we entered the third year, and one day by coincidence, or due to something negative that happened, we got talking with my husband. I now know that God uses bad situations to produce something good because overnight we had made a decision that I should return home. So, in the following month, I prepared my children for the trek back home and we did return and many people could not believe it was happening. Apparently, a lot of people had an interest in what was happening to us, some were concerned while others were celebrating our downfall. So, this about turn unsettled a lot of people and the devil himself was not amused.

In the following days and months after my return home, there was massive warfare in the spiritual realm, but by now I had been enlightened and was aware of the available weapons. 2 Corinthians 10 vs. 4: “For the weapons of our warfare are not physical [weapons of flesh and blood], but they are mighty before God for the overthrow and destruction of strongholds.” I began to earnestly seek God about my marriage and he responded by baptising me with his Holy Spirit. I became empowered and started to see some of my challenges from a spiritual angle. Victory was in sight and as they say; the match was now fixed.

My husband also decided to join my church, received the Lord Jesus and was baptised. However, this did not end the struggles in our marriage as the devil attacked from different angles. I went into warfare and began to cry to God, waking up at 3am daily praying and fasting. Then the Lord spoke to me and I was surprised because he said to me: “I want you to stay in that marriage because I have a plan for you. You shall soon know why.” During that time, the Holy Spirit himself comforted me and spoke to me in the midst of strife in my home. I was so strengthened and empowered, that I even surprised my husband and he began to attack my prayer life. He accused me of praying in tongues so that he would not know that I was praying for him to die. I laughed because I knew this was far from my intentions as I was actually praying for his good and the good of our marriage.

I now know why God himself says in Hosea 4 vs. 6, “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge...”, if I had known then what I know now; I would not have been plundered by the devil the way he did. By the way, in all those years that we were fighting with my husband and separating, we lost most of the wealth we had acquired i.e. the cars, land and investments etc, except for the house. When we got back together, we were even driving a borrowed car that my brother had given me to use and my husband was not gainfully employed. I struggled as the main breadwinner to put food on the table and to send our 4 children to decent schools.

Anyway, to cut the story further, getting back with my husband was no walk in the park as the devil tried his best to put asunder God’s plan, but as it is with all that God purposes, the devil is no match. So, the next couple of years saw intensity in spiritual warfare. My husband and I even made a trip to the Holy Land, yes to Israel. I believed my life would never be the same after making this trip and for sure God is faithful and he is not a man that he would lie. If you seek his Kingdom first, everything else will be added to you. It was not until I had repented of all sin and made a decision to be pure before God, that I began to see real change. As I continued seeking him and praying for my husband and family, I began to see victory.

Recently, I got involved in a 21-day prayer marathon organised by the prophet of God, Elisha Goodman and as a result have seen God work wonders in my life. For the first time in years, my husband and I have sat down to discuss our marriage, the trials and tribulations we have gone through and how we have overcome. We both recognise the spiritual attack that we suffered and have made a pledge not to allow the devil to destroy our marriage again. I believe that this was the vital time of complete healing and forgiveness and release. We both acknowledged our wayward and illicit associations with people outside our marriage and that we should never go back there. I believe, this is the opening of doors by God and whatever God opens, man cannot shut. My husband and I have decided to use our testimony, to help other people going through the same challenges to understand that, it is a spiritual warfare and our weapons are not physical. We need to engage God when faced with such an attack on our marriages. The battle belongs to God because he is the creator of marriages and he needs to defend his institution. This year we are celebrating 21 years of marriage!

I pray that this will also be an eye-opener for anyone reading this testimony. Glory be to God. Amen.

About me: I am an aspiring author and mentor. I have started a blog on women where I post articles about women and issues affecting them in the 21^st Century. I am trying to find the right angle and recently I have begun a study series on the women of the Bible. I will be posting regularly a study on each woman on my blog and I welcome useful comments.